I’ve always known what contributes to my real happiness, my best friend, boyfriend, and family, well they’re all my family when it comes down to it. But there are other things that are important too – health and wellbeing especially. Our mental state of mind triggers how we see things, and how happy we really feel.
At the end of March, I wondered where the next chapter in my life would take me. On this journey to a new kind of happiness, I kept one thing in mind:
Stay positive and work hard – just like the candle has written on it that was bought for me as gift.
Money was decreasing and days were seeming longer. I felt useless. I felt ashamed. And most of all, I felt worthless. I didn’t know if I was lost, how long I was going to be there, or if my working life was always going to be a temporary measure.
Many people had said to me, you’ll recharge your batteries when you go on holiday and you’ll feel a lot more positive. The thing was, when a company was saying no, I knew it must not have been the right role for me, but at the same time I wondered if I had the persistence to keep going.
My boyfriend had recently told me:
I don’t know anyone who has more persistence than you.
At the time, it should have made me feel good. But instead, I felt a sense of worry running through me. For the past few months I must have worried more than I ever have. And during holiday I relaxed and told myself, that it’s so much wasted energy when there are going to be more important things in life to be worried about.
I told myself that maybe I shouldn’t feel ashamed. Maybe I’m in this place because I’m going to be on the right path soon. I knew that I was heading in the right direction through previous achievements that I have accomplished. However, I just wanted to make my family proud. I hated the feeling of waking up in the morning and running out of things to do to stay active.
During my holiday I was offered this one particular interview and I was informed that the interview would be based around social media, creativity, and marketing. Straight away Daniel said, wow that’s you – they are your three perfect things.
So I smiled, replied as soon as I could and accepted the interview, which I attended a couple of days after I arrived home.
This was the most insightful interview I’ve ever had.
Nerves were in place as you could imagine, but this particular morning, I had a burst of energy which pushed me to believe that no matter what happens I can say I had gone in there and gave it all that I could.
The ladies who lead the interview made me feel welcome and kept positive and attentive throughout the interview, just as I did. It was an interview where I was given the chance to present myself, my true self, with everything that I could offer and build knowledge in the future.
I thought the interview lasted just under an hour and I only expected to be in there for around 20 – 30 minutes. I wondered if this was a positive or negative, but I continued the happy vibe and said it means I could show all I could.
I called Daniel up immediately afterwards walking down the street smiling and saying, I just really enjoyed that interview.
He was probably thinking, what, why? Who enjoys an interview?
But Daniel knows how passionate I am about charity and writing about important causes surrounding health and awareness.
The rest of my day was spent relaxing in the garden. My dad had purchased some new sun loungers for the back garden, and it was quite sunny on this day so we just chilled there. I needed my glasses so I went up to my room to get them. I noticed that there were two missed calls on my phone.
I managed to return the call and reach the caller. You know when you hear, “Hi, it’s ____ from _____”, and you think ah, they’re ringing up to provide me with feedback because they’ve found another candidate?
Well, that was my immediate thought. Only to my surprise, they were pleased to offer me the post. Me! I was the right candidate. If I had to sum up my happiness in one sentence, I will just tell you that I was overjoyed I ran downstairs to my dad, hugged him and told him the news, and forgot to bring get my sunglasses that I went upstairs for in the first place.
I felt a sigh of relief, my mum was worried about me because I was becoming a very anxious and self-doubting person. Daniel always wants me to be happy and he could see I was trying but feeling low when nothing happened. Now that it had, I felt like crying. Happy tears of course. But just because I have tried so hard to get where I am and I thought I was going have to take a step backwards.
The fact that someone had given me a chance, I couldn’t be more grateful. I started my first week on Monday and it flew by. I really do hope that I can show my potential and offer all the suggestions I can to support such an amazing and committed charity.
I’ve learn so much already and I cannot wait to see what the rest of my time here brings. I can honestly say that I feel elevated. Being placed in this role has made a huge impact on my mental and physical health already. Knowing I have this, and knowing how passionate I am towards the tasks, I hope to bring in everything they expect of me, and more.
I’m feeling exciting to create new ideas and plans for the next day. I’m not used to this. There was a time where I feared walking into a workplace, triggering worry in all kinds of way. Worry is something that affects so many things in our lives that, some people wouldn’t even understand. It can test relationships, silence, have the ability to cause an unhealthy lifestyle, and most of all, try to change you.
Every day this week, I’ve woken up feeling fresh minded and having a forward thinking approach. I’ve got to know two ladies who I work closely with where I’m based and only had the chance to meet more lovely members of staff yesterday who make up the rest of the team.
I’ve been able to see things from a different perspective. Meeting new people with disabilities that come to use our multi-sensory rooms makes you realise how each and every one of us are unique and the littlest things really can make us happy. Most of all, I’ve been to stop worrying about new people and wondering what they think of me. We are our person, and that what’s makes us special.
I feel accomplished in more ways than ever. I know for sure that I’m in my happy place. Working for a charity that is passionate about disability, makes me wonder how proud my grandad would have been. I feel as if those two years ago when I began to write on this blog for the first time, has brought me here.
I have explored so many different causes, while discovering myself at the same time. When I was 3 years old I was learning how to write letters. As I grew older, I was writing sentences and learning about punctuation. Later, I was writing stories. Whenever I’ve been asked what I want to be when I grow up, I never knew, I just knew I loved writing. Writing makes me feel happy, it’s so therapeutic for me, even discussing the hard times in life helps me to focus.
Writing this post and telling you about this achievement finally makes me feel proud of myself again.
I see a bright and wonderful future here.