We live in a world full of judgements and assumptions. Do you know what I take from it all? You shouldn’t have to prove what a good person you are. If you believe you’re doing well and you’re doing what’s best for you making you happy, then go for it!
Over the past few weeks I’ve been challenged with my emotions and it’s affected me in many ways. I’ve felt powerless, fed-up and definitely not a version of me that I have enjoyed. There have been many occasions where my emotions have run high and then sadly deflated.
The inner and outer version of you
One thing I’ve learnt with appearance is that we don’t need to look beautiful on the outside to feel beautiful on the inside.
This morning, I woke up feeling fresh and went to the gym. Through the week, there were parts of me that felt like I had given up myself, like I had no more fight left in me. I’ve felt drained both mentally and physically.
So after a good work-out which was very well needed, I felt more positivity enter my day. I arrived home to my boyfriend and I was jumping around the house with my giddy head on. Today has been a day where I’ve smiled and it’s because I woke up clear-minded (for once) with time to feel free and focus on me.
There haven’t been any comments in my mind challenging my thoughts about how I look, or if what I am doing is right. Deep down, I know that a decision I made this week is certainly the right one to have been made. You know when you know people will question it but you need to do what’s best for you to not only be happy but to be healthier?
Health is worth a whole lot more than all the money and expectations in this world that we feel we need to pursue from time-to-time. Of course, we need money to live and to cater for those around us. People have families, bills, homes etc. But sometimes, it’s about taking a moment to yourself and not letting anything or anyone abuse your good nature, or punishing your mind.
I’d like to say that I am a good person and I don’t believe in being like anybody else or changing yourself to please another. To that article on Facebook the other day, if I want to eat rice cakes, I’ll eat rice cakes, regardless of your information that, they aren’t as heathy as they seem.
And to the people who don’t respect my decisions, it’s for me at the end of the day, not you. Where’s the harm in wanting to take on a better challenge to make you happy?
Here’s me – I’m about half a stone heavier than I was since high the beginning of college. That’s almost seven years which have passed, so what’s wrong with that? I tackled thoughts in my head thinking I’ve let myself go… but maybe I started to eat more food and enjoyed it (mmm those milky ways) or maybe it’s because I’m now a full-grown woman.
Ever stepped onto the scales and awaited your results to tell you what your weight is? I have gone round in circles to upset myself for not losing weight. Then I remind myself, that I’ve become more active to feel better about myself, to know I’m doing more, and to tone up. I need to stop punishing my mind for thoughts that are not necessary.
Over the past couple of weeks, one thing I have let myself down with is my blogging. I have been arriving home feeling the need to write a blog post, then I’ve reminded myself of how down and different I feel to then have put my laptop as well as remained quietly in the house.
But now that I’ve finally spoke up, I feel free. Temporary feelings shouldn’t hurt your mind to the point where you cannot sleep, eat, or think as a result of that.
Tip 1: If something’s bugging you, don’t sit quietly in the corner like I did. Speak to someone and make sure something’s done about it. And if it isn’t, take that step and make a change for you.
Tip 2: Look at yourself and not the appearance of others. You’re you, so be you!
Having the potential to do something does not mean to say that people should take advantage of your skills and knowledge to the point where you just can’t take it anymore. We are all human beings, but it seems as though we’re all different kinds.
This week I’ve surprised myself. As a child I was always known as this quiet little girl who would sit back and let anyone speak to her the way they did. I couldn’t always handle a joke and I most certainly never knew how to speak back to someone if they hurt my feelings or if they were trying to offend me.
Recently, up until the end of this week, I’ve been feeling like that little girl over again. I’ve let people walk over me and I’ve accepted that it’s the right thing to do. I’ve never really known what true anxiety felt like but it turns out I’ve been experiencing it for months for now.
I wasn’t going to let it beat me though. I finally spoke up for myself and made a change. And wow it’s a huge heavy weight that has been lifted off my shoulder. No one knows what the future holds but I do sure know one thing, I’ve experienced a great deal of belittle and bother to take whatever is going to come my way, now or in the future.
I’ve always wondered what the phrase the world is your oyster really means. Obviously, I got the part where it meant, we are in a place to take on the opportunities that life has to offer. But I’ve began to feel much more by it. My mum said it to me the other day and I stopped and thought to myself, there’s a whole big wide world out there, and we can take on anything we want.
I believe that there’s always so much more to life than some people perceive. I believe in enjoying a job but enjoying life outside of work, in the way that I believe in working hard, but also getting the chance to relax and unwind.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve felt like a much weaker person than I thought I was. Then I remembered that I don’t deserve to feel this way. I looked at everything I’ve achieved since being the timid girl that I was. I know that I want to be successful in life, and doing what I’ve done doesn’t make me a failure. It see it as making the chance to build new adventures.
Thinking about success, it’s about being happy along the way too. Today, I feel a lot more powerful than I did. I look towards my friends and my family and feel so grateful. But I know that I have the strength independently to tackle things on my own too. If you believe that you are capable then you can achieve. You just have to try and try.
You can walk or run – whichever you decide, go at the pace that’s right for you.
Tip 3: You’re stronger than you think and a whole lot smarter than other people perceive you to be.
Have a lovely weekend everyone. I’m going to make the most of it – enjoy a night out with the girls tonight then spend time seeing family tomorrow. And here’s to hopefully not having that pre-Monday anxiety feeling at the end of Sunday.
“Today’s a new day. If you woke up feeling good this morning, you know it’s gonna be a better day.”