Be Someone That No One Thought You Could Be
Many of us will go through life where people have expectations of us. People might want you to chance that one little thing you do. Others might wish for you to go down a certain route in life.
My perception on this is that, we all experience disappointment at some point or other in our lives. But you shouldn’t always think that you’re a disappointment. Things don’t always go to plan, more times than other they won’t actually. You can’t control everything that life throws your way but you can control how to handle situations that affect you.
When you’re a baby, people expect you to be crawling, walking, and talking by a certain age. When you’re at school, people hope for you to exceed with reading, writing, and listening. People will want you to achieve the highest grades at high school and progress onto college. They might even wish for you to further your education onto university.
People wanting these things for you can be a great thing. It means that they want to experience different levels of education that there are in the world. However, it wouldn’t make you feel too good if people wanted to do these things for their sake. That’s why we should be grateful for those of us who have parents and friends who support us through our choices.
I’ve been a Sales Assistant, to a Learning Support Administrator, to a Marketing Assistant. And throughout, I’ve definitely developed my people skills and learnt that communication is key – not just through employment, but every day of life. Did I ever see myself completed a course which can help to mentor children? Did I ever see myself becoming a blogger? Did I ever imagine myself becoming a girlfriend to someone for more than two weeks? (Daniel will understand that one).
When I was in primary school, all I wanted to do was achieve and enjoy childhood with my friends. Family has always been an important factor, especially when it meant jumping up to them after school and visiting them in between the week.
One of my main aims at school was to keep my head down and progress – not because people wanted me to, but for myself. It’s down to yourself how you act in life. If you don’t care about something, you can’t expect anything to just come to you.
Since the day I pained in primary school, played in the sandpit, didn’t think anything could be more fun that walking around on stilts at dinner time, I wanted to see what life had and be creative. I couldn’t wait for the day where I could start using pen at school instead of pencil to write my stories.
I gave it my all.
I wasn’t the most confident speaker in school plays or assemblies but I smiled and stayed a happy child. I will never forget the day a teacher went mad at me because I hadn’t learnt my lines for the Easter play. Truth was, I was too upset about granny passing away and I couldn’t stop crying every time mum tried to go over them with me.
I am proud to have received many attendance recognition awards (which I still have copies of) along with a note from the security that gave me £10 because I was a pupil on record for best attendance.
Then I hit another chapter in my life – high school. I’d say I still wasn’t so confident at this point in time, however, I was meeting more friends. I was so happy to be doing so because I entered high school in a different area than all of my primary school friends, so it was very important for me to make new friendships. One of my favourites was meeting my best friend.
From primary school, science was never my strongest subject, but I was never the most underachieving in the class at the same. High school did manage to challenge me though. I got put in top set in science – I do not know why! I always wanted to be in set one for English, like I was for maths. But then I would think, I don’t love science in the way I love maths and English.
Mum has always been proud of me with maths as she is known for being good with numbers too, and one of my brothers. Once I was moved down to set two in maths because there wasn’t enough room in the class. Whoa, what a shock the teacher got. I wasn’t always much of a participator in class. But it at this point when I would be putting my hand up to answer questions in every single class. The teacher knew I needed to be back in my old class. As sad as it might sound, it’s actually one of the proudest moments in my high school life. I was finishing test first in the class for time and for results.
I was even told to stay quiet at times to see if anyone else could answer.
Eventually I was moved back to my original class and I gained hit the grade 7C mark – this made my day. I didn’t think I could achieve anything greater 6! And I did it – I gained a grade A at GCSE and I also sat my GCSE Statistics in year 9 and gained a B grade.
Whilst I was trying to better my confidence at high school, there was a period where I was bullied. Some people would say, what? By who? I seemed to be a pro in keeping it quiet and trying to fake a smile. Sad to think that think happened within the year after my grandad had passed away.
I wasn’t in the popular group. I didn’t wear lots of makeup or have the most stylish hair. Some people who would never let onto me in school have seen me out on nights out in town, and they’ll actually say hello. I can’t say the same for others though.
Anyway, back to the high school thing. I think learning languages really helped me become part of who I am. I always thought it would be amazing. I studied French and Spanish and continued with Spanish into GCSE level. The French teacher tried to persuade me to choose French at GCSE too but I didn’t think I could juggle two languages at once.
Other proud moments at high school – passing my GCSEs because to me, they do mean something when you look back, for you, for your own reflection on your achievements. Also, I was really happy to have been invited to awards evening more than once for French, Art, and English and receiving comments from my teachers in Spanish, Media, and ICT. I think this made me know what the right thing to do next was.
Back at sixteen I was thinking wow, A-Levels. What a big step. They were really difficult for me. I chose Maths, ICT, Media Studies, and Spanish. Maths turned out to be something different for me at A-Level. As difficult as Spanish was, I was glad my tutor pushed me. I was disappointed with my ICT grade but like I said at the beginning, you can’t always be disappointed in yourself. You have to seek new opportunities.
A proud moment at college was being nominated for the college film awards. My friends and I made a horror movie. We didn’t win but it was such a wonderful experience and it was so elegant and fancy on the evening. It was so much more exciting than prom. It was quite a weird feeling to be drinking alcohol in the company of your tutors but I don’t think anyone got out of hand so that was good.
One thing I wish I could have done better – was saying yes and taking chances.
I don’t think too negatively about my grades because I was accepted into university. I might have had to wait two weeks but I was accepted so I knew that I must have had something to give. I made a small group of friends and I was happy with this, it’s all I needed and we all had each other. I also had people who I would say hello to and chat to waiting for lectures to start, during dinner etc.
It took me until third year to master the enjoyment you can actually have researching with books at the library. Although I was always scared to pass by certain people.
College and university really made me think about who I was. I made mistakes, wrong choices, but I also fell in love and gained new experiences to better my knowledge of not only media studies but life in general.
When I look back, I should have pushed myself more and worried less. This became a huge part of who I was in university but I think it’s partly because I was experiencing things which were new to me.
I think that whatever time or place I am in, my life will always be about my loved ones. Today, I was told that when I finish work just switch off. And the person who said that was right. It’s nice to arrive home to a happy face, warmth, and love. I don’t need to stress in these environments or let anyone try to ruin my happiness.
Whenever I’ve been disheartened, the same people have stuck by me.
I’m twenty-two now and people still have their expectations. I think it’s just a thing in life that will always happen. But I would say don’t let it control you too much because you want to be who you want to be rather than the person somebody wishes for you to be.
I remember the day that my grandad told me you’re growing up now. And that was so true. We are growing up every day but it doesn’t mean to say that you’re not the strong person that some people might not perceive you to be.
We all have our own eyes. We’ve all seen the world in both similar and different ways. Follow life with your own vision and believe you can make it. If I took the step, then you can too.
I didn’t always think it was possible. But there have been people in my life who have taught me how to be brave, how to be patient, and how to be myself.