Remember when you were a child and you couldn’t understand why you were always told, ‘It’s complicated’. For example, when your parents argued.
You did not understand how everything would go back to normal within a click of your fingers. You were always told that you were too young to understand certain situations like why people fight or argue.
But now, sometimes, I understand why I was told those things. There are things in the world which have always been there but can seem to be new as we grow older, as we begin to be more mindful and take a bigger insight of what surrounds us.
I grew up in a family of my mother, father, and two older brothers. Being the youngest member, and being a girl has been an emotional whirlwind growing up. As I was a ‘daddy’s girl’ it was difficult for my dad to come round to the moment when I began to fall in love. I’m still daddy’s girl as much as I’ll always be growing into a woman.
My mum is someone who I closely relate to now as she obviously understands the changes throughout the journey from a girl to a woman. She’s experienced the emotional ups and downs.
But the thing I’d say she has experienced the most is heartbreak. Her strength since having her three children has inspired me as I have reflected on our upbringing now that I am older.
I don’t get scared anymore to ask how it felt to lose a daughter and to have had a miscarriage to twins. I’ve seen that she does anything for her children just like my dad does.
After high school, I was girl who began to wear make-up, make new friends, and attend more house parties. There always seems to be house parties when you’re younger doesn’t there?! But I have been the person who focuses on her studies and wants to achieve more things in life.
Being the youngest, I have always had three protective men around me – that being my dad and brothers. To this day, some of my brothers don’t even let on that they have a sister. There are similarities that I see in myself with my brothers.
But I also have always had a vision that I’ll follow my own path. And I did. I chose to go to university after college and seek for my dream job which is finally beginning to come to life.
Within the past couple of years, my mum and I have had more disagreements than ever but there also so many things we are on the same level with. As frustrated as we can get with our parents, I always have to remember that they’ve been by my side since day one.
Opinions can differ. Attitudes can be a total different extreme at times but we still love each other. And I’ve realised that my mum has always been worried when an argument has broken out because she’s scared of being as close to me as she was with her mother and then losing something so precious.
She has told me that she doesn’t want me to have to go through the heartbreak that she did when she lost her mum. But she knows deep down, that we will always have a close mother and daughter relationship. My mum always says I’m special and dad agrees. I say “Mum is there not another word you can use?” And she responds, “No, because that’s what you are.” I don’t know if it’s because I was premature, because I’m the only girl, or if it’s something else.
There are things I’ll never understand but at least I know how much my parents and my brothers love me. They all show it in their own ways. There have been occasions when a text from one of my brothers has shown be that they are there for me even if they’re not directly in my presence. I also love each and every occasion that I receive a hug from my family.
We will always stick together. We don’t have to see each other every day but we know that when it comes down to the worst experiences we could imagine – we are right there. We are happy for one another whenever one of achieves something or gains something great. From childhood to present, we’ve created so many memories.
Special people such as our grandparents are a huge inspiration in our lives and always will be. In fact, we all inspire each other in our own ways.
Not everyone has the chance to meet their family. I’m blessed to have mine so close – at the other end of the phone and who would arrive at your house within a heartbeat when you need them most.