Regular readers will know that I love to focus on the most positive and heart-warming experiences in life. However, there come times where I need to express emotions differently.
Have you ever wondered what’s really on someone’s mind?
As important as it is to keep positive and look towards the future, it is okay to reflect on the negative things that have happened to you. Or at least the things, which were not so pleasing.
People will find that they can find someone to confide in about personal matters. But sometimes, more than we think, people hold these emotions inside. As much as we should be open with other people before all things blow, it is often easier said than done on certain occasions.
For instance, no matter how much you have that one person in which you can tell everything to, there are still things which scare you. You are worried about revealing something that you might think will change their perspective of you.
In addition, you are worried that when you open up about the things that have gotten to you inside your head, they are going to be there even if they are left very far back in your mind. Without being able to give a full explanation as to why because you cannot always explain fully yourself is one of the most frustration moments.
Sometimes, I have lost enthusiasm for the times where I do not have the energy to explain or I simply do not want to explain. Though, I have learnt that some things are better out in the open. Whereas, others being out have always made a huge difference. No matter how much I have previously explained how something affects me, it still remains that, it is going to happen again. And it does.
You can question everything in the world – you will not find an answer for everything. You could also ask the person who you need the answer from the most but they will not always give you the answer that you are looking or hoping for.
You can struggle to come to terms as to why someone reacts the way they do or perhaps you cannot understand why they can be so blind to the things that make you feel so low. Nobody is a mind reader. As much as a person can know you, it is not always easy for them to travel deep enough into your thoughts.
At the same time, you wish it was easier. But then again, how would be experience the whole journey of learning to control our thoughts? I will admit that, I cannot always control mine. For example, I could go to bed feeling content and then I close my eyes to see a picture of a bad memory.
I am not sure if anyone truly understands how some things can upset me and how they stay with me no matter how much I reassure someone that I am okay. The thing is, I am okay. I must be if I have learnt to juggle these memories in my head for so long. It is just whether they come out and make my emotions explode which is the frightening thing.
We all have stupid moments. We have all questioned things in our heads that have not always needed to be questioned. However, if something really bothers you and you see a scenario in a different light than somebody else, then why ask yourself why this happens/happened?
You have your own mind. You have the freedom to explore your own thoughts and insight of life. Is it acceptable for someone to see themselves as more worth than you? No, it certainly is not.
And deep down, I think, as much as I would like to hear a different answer or version of events, it is not going to happen. Maybe my mind does hold some truth of what actually happened, was about to happen or what someone felt deep down but did not want to hurt my feelings.
As sad as it is to say – that’s life.
Someone will tell you that they love you so very much. You could be their world. You might wonder if they actually see two worlds but you will know when you are their only one.
A person might have made you doubt this. As much as they have reassured you differently in front of other people, you are confronted with a tough situation where you are lost in your own thoughts. Even when all is out, you still look like the weakest one.
There has been a moment in my life were I thought I was about to lose something/someone. I hate how it was the result of a person. One single person. And someone sees the stupid side of you. Though, I do not have any regrets on my actions because I had to release my emotions, confusion and upset.
Some people are going to have a caring nature towards many, many people. Be glad you know someone like it. Ignore anyone who tries to take advantage of it. I try to understand that each individual has their own relationships with different people – from a young age or recently new friendship.
At times, you will realise that they shared more unforgettable and fun memories with them but all that counts is that you try to make sure.
As happy as I am today, I still have things at the back of my mind which I do not understand. It is down to me to be able to control those. They are said and done. Each day of the present and the future is for you to try keep yourself content. Some days will be harder than others.
There are things upcoming in the future that I am scared of but I will take each moment as it comes.
For anyone who has ever felt this kind of displeasure, I hope you find all of the happiness and success that you look for and truly deserve.