We all have fears and just to show you how big or small some may be, I have put three of mine together below. The first is employment/job search related; the second is holiday related; the third being one which is closest to my heart – love. So here goes…
Trying to promote myself in interviews
Before entering the ‘real world’ after university, I had only ever had an interview for educational purposes and for my first ever job, which ended yesterday after six years. So you can imagine that it was quite difficult having had little experience of the best answers to give in job interviews.
Since the nineteen I have been to, I was delighted to have landed myself in the role of a Learning Support Administrator at local college nearby, that being the one I attended for my A-levels too. I remember my first interview – it was more of a sales and marketing type of role. It turns out that it was not for me but I still wanted to experience the interview.
When I look back now, as much as I wish I would have had feedback from many of my interviews, I know that the ones from the beginning could have been better even if the role was not for me.
As I compare them to the ones after those, I see that I did not extend answers enough. It was not about thinking too hard in order to give the best answer. It was simply to be myself and say everything you possibly can which relates to the question. That goes for asking as much as you can in order to illustrate your interest for the position.
I’m happy to be where I am today. I still need to work hard to find something for after June. But I am determined to take everything I have learnt along the way and use it for future prospects.
Jumping into the middle of the sea off a boat
Call me a baby but I have always had a fear of the sea or the deep side of the swimming pool for that matter. I remember being on holiday in Tenerife when I was six years old with my parents and my two brothers. They could do anything – they were never scared. Whereas, I needed that pink rubber ring to float around in. There was no way I was going into the pool without it. I remember meeting a girl who was a few years older than me but she still wanted to play and did not care that I was in my ring – I’ll never forget that.
Similarly, in primary school I was not the best in the swimming pool. By this I mean, as much as I enjoyed doing all the different activities in the water, I just could not make my way into the big pool. All of my class were there when it got to a certain point and I remember doing my test in order to pass to enter the big pool. I am not being sarcastic when I use the term ‘big’ for pool. It most certainly was big and frightening for me.
I always seemed to think I was going to drown or lose my breath under the water. Anyway, as I was doing my test, I seen everyone thinking, “Oh will she do it?” There were occasions where I had to stop and hold onto the metal bar that the instructor had close to the poolside. I was not the fastest or the most graceful of swimmers, but I did it.
I cannot believe that last year, I put all of these experiences behind me and jumped into the middle of the sea in Salou off a catamaran. It was a very proud moment.
Falling in love
How does it feel to fall in love? I wonder if I’ll ever have a long-term boyfriend when I grow up. These are the thoughts my younger self used to have in my mind. When you know, you just know.
For me, it is the most amazing feeling. You go from having a boyfriend, to having a best friend who you can talk to about anything and I mean anything. There are moments to look back on from seeing how far the two of you have come; to remembering the time you shared your first kiss or holding hands in public. So you may be wondering what my fear was. Let me tell you – it was the thought of going from friends to something more serious.
I’ve had close friends and a best friend but there are certain things that I prefer to keep to myself. However, with Daniel, no matter how hard I might want to try, I cannot do that. He is my go to person for literally everything.
I know I’ll receive the right advice whether I need it to be the most comforting or not. I’ve shared many, many things that I did not even know I could open up about. He makes me feel brave whenever I’m scared. And I know for sure that from the first time I held his hand or even from our history before then, I’m never letting go.
You’ll hear people say, you need this or that in a relationship in order for it to be a successful one. But how do they know what works for you? Obviously there are certain things which you would agree with but it is how we stand by each other that makes it so heartfelt for me. He knows me better than I know myself.
If I would not have conquered my fear of letting someone in and believing they can love me, it would not have been possible.
Never take the person who loves you for granted.