Before you read any further, this will seem like a rant to some but I hope there are others who can relate or try to understand what I am conveying.
I don’t believe in the way that some people believe there is such a thing as ‘real relationships’. Your relationship with your mother, father, child, boyfriend etc. is what you make it. Sure, there are times when you do not agree with one another; you have different traditions and you most certainly do not always see things the same way.
Everyone is different. Everyone has their own ways of life. And everyone has their own attitude to life.
My parents’ perception of my future is not exactly the same as the hope I have for myself.
They believe in different things than I do. My dad never followed the full education route of college and university and often, too often actually, refers to university as ‘college’. Sometimes, it was hard to explain the grading nowadays as so much has changed and that’s my point – things change over different eras.
There are occasions where I feel as though I am not doing as certain people want me to. I went to university, I did not get the top grades. I am employed – it did not take a couple of interviews to be where I am and I have to start doing it all over again due to the role ending in June.
Now more than ever, I have realised that I have to start doing things for me. I’ll hear the odd, “You shouldn’t finish there just yet.” or “Tasha doesn’t want to do that.”
Why should I do what works for somebody else? Come to think of it, why should I do something that they have never experienced themselves before? I hate feeling pressured into doing something. It is a part of life though.
I just figure that you need to, as I’ve said before, follow your own path. If something does not work out right, you learn from it. Life gives you obstacles. You choose how to tackle them yourself. Luckily, having someone to share the uplifting and downfalls in life with you does help a great deal.
Again, not everyone will see the true happiness the two of you share. People often perceive a couple to be nothing more than couple. I mean in the way that, they do ‘couple’ things together… perhaps it is going to the cinema, eating out together, have days out etc. Not everyone does those things.
Your own relationship has its own ways of sharing the love and care that you have for one another. If you see a future with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, be happy for the both of you.
I do the things listed above, however, for me that’s not what makes me and my boyfriend a couple. It is being there for one another through the hardest times that shows me what love is. Knowing you have someone who supports you at your weakness and admires your strengths.
They admire the strengths they wish they had as you do with theirs. You smile at their proudest moments and you actually have so much pride in them where they just don’t see it.
Personally, I do not believe in cheating. It is something I could not think to experience, being the person on the other side of the relationship because you’re “boring” or not giving your partner enough. Enough? If someone does not think you’re enough for them, why don’t they go elsewhere?
Without going into too much detail, I’ve had people who are close to me experience a breakdown in relationships. I’ve seen them overcome and fall back down again. Many occasions would frustrate me as to why they were hurting themselves so much by sticking with something for the sake of it.
On the other hand, people learn to cope with it in their own ways and do their own thing. That’s fair enough. Whether it is a relationship choice, employment or future related, do what you think is best.
You can take advice but the important thing is to think about your own happiness as selfish as it may sound. Of course, you’re right to consider the feelings of other people, don’t push them away.
In the past, I was still growing as I am today from a girl into a woman. I still see more maturity to appear in myself; however, that does not mean to say that I don’t understand life.
Whenever there’s been something to discuss about my relationship, I go straight to my boyfriend. I’ll admit that I used to rely on the assurance of other people too much whenever I’d had a drink on a night out and I’m not ashamed to admit that. I’m past that stage now though.
Whether other people see it or not – we are strong – both physically and mentally. I have taken away all of the negative thoughts that used to surround me and control my day.
Moreover, in reality, people can still say things. But you can be the bigger person and ignore them. Even if you have looked like a complete and utter fool, you know you have done the right thing.
You could have embarrassed yourself but the person who knows you the most – who may have thought they did before but realises now how much they mean to you.
You might not see each other every day but you know that the friendship is there. I’ve gone a year or so without seeing one friend face-to-face but when we have met, there was no change. We were still chatting away about this, that and everything.
I am happy with my life right now. There are tonnes of things that annoy me. But I’m happy. I am ready to move out with my best friend. Not your average best friend – he’s my most handsome and loving friend.
And the decisions we make together are for us. We like to start off small and see what we can aspire to. We don’t know everything. Not everything is easy to make happen as it is for others. But that’s what makes us who we are.
Not everyone will see the closeness you share with someone. They don’t think you should share so much with them. Why shouldn’t you?
At the end of the day, they are the one person you can tell anything to without being judged. They’ll be honest with you even if you see it a little differently, but that’s what you need. Listening to someone and I mean really listening is what it takes.
One thing I really dislike is when you know someone is discussing your choices – they think they are wrong. Well guess what, I don’t agree with half of the things you’ve done but I just leave you to it.
We all know at least one person who constantly lies and hides things. Or that somebody who just will not leave you alone without disrupting everything you do. It could even be something not as serious such as being told you shouldn’t eat something.
You can be different – you can be you. Don’t let someone or something define you negatively. Push it aside and appreciate the people who make a positive difference in your life.